So...

[xp_topaz]

I guess we just wait for a magical portal to consume Chicago....

https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/502753/chicago-library-needs-help-transcribing-17th-century-spellbooks

Comments

[xp_clea]

Why wait?

[xp_topaz]

So maybe they'll learn their lesson next time they come across a centuries old spellbook.

[xp_clea]

Do you want an undead unicorn invasion? Because this is how you open portals to other worlds

[xp_topaz]

Depends on the spell. It might just time-freeze Chicago. Or give everyone two heads. We really don't know until we let it play out. People don't learn if you bail them out, though. Next time someone sees an ancient spellbook, they'll run screaming in the other direction like they should

[xp_clea]

Maybe I should take the job

[xp_cypher]

came here to post something to this effect, leaving satisfied that there are other memelord trash besides me

[xp_clea]

I learn from the best memelord

[xp_cypher]

i am a goshdarn delight

[xp_topaz]

You've done your part to corrupt the next generation. Congratulations

[xp_cypher]

well someone had to do it

i'm just passing on the traditions as they were handed down to me

[xp_artie]

This seems illadvised.

I mean, I hate Chicago but still. I don't think it deserves that. Houston, sure. LA, yeah, I'll pay that but not Chicago.

[xp_clea]

I am afraid of someone accidentally setting off bloody chain reaction. The book may need to be taken off their hands

[xp_artie]

Yeah, me too. I just really hate magic books because they let untrained people do really stupid things with even stupider consequences.

[xp_clea]

On a scale of one to illegal, how bad would it be to go for a weekend trip to Chicago and take it off their hands?

[xp_artie]

At this point, it's just a library in a university so security isn't too bad.

There's risk but more risk in leaving it there. I vote we go to Chicago. Bosses want you doing more field work, right?

[xp_clea]

Right. We can call this training. I'll clear our schedules for this weekend from work

[xp_artie]

You're my favourite. I'll book flights out but we'll wait till we're done to book flights home.

We'll be taking one of the ID packets Doug makes and I'll brief you before we go because I want to know you're letter perfect on your cover.

Weather is going to suck, FYI.

[xp_clea]

I'll cancel Monday as well.

Sounds like a bloody plan.

And I'll bring a snow jacket.

[xp_topaz]

Blimey. I'll text you both my contact's info and set up a meeting, I guess.

By the way, my name is Kiah to him. Don't slip.

[xp_clea]

Kiah, you are blood awesome.

[xp_jubilee]

I’d say bring me back some pizza but ew. Maybe just bring me back a cubbies jersey or something.

[xp_topaz]

Fine, we can save Chicago.

I asked someone to poke around and see if there was any validity to it. Anything can look like a spell if you prose enough.

[xp_wallflower]

Maybe it’ll just rain baby ducks?

[xp_topaz]

Do magical baby ducks count as an invasive species?

[xp_wallflower]

Possibly. Rains of baby animals? I have a feeling not everyone is as fond of baby snakes as I am.

[xp_artie]

You're taking the piss but think about it.

Magic always makes you pay more than you need. So.

I'ma let you think about what a rain of baby animals would really look like, with the screaming and the carnage and blood.

Don't joke about magic. Stay away from it wherever you can.

[xp_artie]

Let me know if I need to meet them and do an emergency book burning or something.

[xp_pixie]

All joking about magic portals aside, that seems like the wisest course of action.

[xp_jubilee]

Just so long as they don't destroy Lou Malnati's, everything will be fine. Only place that does truly good deep dish pizza.

[xp_shadowcat]

Seconded.

My mother's still in Chicago. I'm sure if the place goes to hell, I'll hear all about it.